Skip to main content

Stop Fighting with Your Brother!!!!

If you have more than one child, or have siblings, you know that kids who grow up together fight.  Mine certainly do.  No matter how much they love each other, they also get under each other’s skin like no other human on earth.  They are unique individuals with different ideas, intentions and their own package of experiences to draw from.  In my house, that means my confident, passionate kids often reach gridlock trying to lead the other through creative ideas for play.

They might spend hours together playing quite happily until the fireworks start.  Mom or Dad then display the black and white referee uniform yelling “time out” or “stay away from each other” -  over and over again.  It is that day when it seems it is only our own kids who don’t get along and as we sink into our failure as a parent, begin to dream of a nanny, a sandy beach and a pina colada ( or 10).

Today was that day for me.  After raising my voice a few times and separating them repeatedly, it occurred to me that I have resources and can do better.  The creative savvy I use in my professional life needed to spark a new parenting tool.  Soon after that realization, a crazy idea shot out at me – from the recycle bin. 

I made an ‘idea-scale’ with weights for each child.  I called them from their ‘separate corners’ and put on my show.  One child was instructed to add one idea, and then the other child added one to their side.  The scale balanced.  I explained when the scale balances both sides feel respected and good about moving forward. 

I then instructed one child to add several weights while the other did not.  The scale tipped way to the other side.  I asked them what happened then.  I heard responses like “it’s unbalanced”, “it’s not fun anymore”, and also “it’s not fair to the other person now”. 

I took it one step further.  I reminded them that they live in the same house now but when they are grown, if one sibling attempts to dominate the other with their ideas and doesn’t show the other the respect they deserve, they could forever break their bond.  Both immediately indicated they didn’t want that outcome and went off to resume play.

Voila – the idea-scale that took 3 minutes to construct delivered several hours of peace for me to finish my client work and enjoy the rest of this lovely summer day with happier kids.  This lesson could last one day or a lifetime but the important thing is to keep trying.


Whatever works, my fellow parenting survivors.  Whatever works!
Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

It Only Takes One

My son's daycare had five amazing, 8-foot sunflowers growing in their garden this summer.  My own sunflowers didn't do very well so we asked if we could have some of the seeds from daycare to plant in our garden next summer.  Shawna began to harvest the seeds from the faces of the sunflowers.  She took some home with her and a creature destroyed most of them - only a few remaining in their shells.  She returned to daycare to learn that the heads of the remaining sunflowers had been stolen right off their stalks in the yard of the daycare.  The ladies were upset and disappointed that they might not be able to carry on the tradition of their sunflowers. Cornell Sunflower - see the attempt at taping the stem ... When my husband got home from work today he told me their story and asked,"hey - do you have any more of those books with the 'Cornell Sunflower' story?"  A story I wrote was published by 'Chicken Soup' and the similarities to th...
1 comment
Read more

Elvis the Cat

Elvis the cat went missing last Thursday night.   For 14 years Elvis the Cat lived with me indoors. He was afraid of the outside.   Due to kidney disease, he has been living on borrowed time but was still vibrant, fat and happy.   Lately, he seemed desperate to get outside.   I had been warned he might run away to die.      I searched for two days and nights, was sad, and began to look back …. We met at a farm in 1999.   He was undernourished, with mites and fleas.   I was embarking on a new, independent life.   We knew instantly that we belonged to each other.   I nursed him back to life – physically, and he nourished my spirit.   I didn’t hear him meow for the first few years of his life.   I always thought it was because I saw to his every need before he knew he had it.   At night, he would sleep curled in my arms.   If he heard a noise, he would perch on the end of my bed between me and a potenti...
Post a Comment
Read more

The Push and Pull of Blog Promotion: Part 2

After making progress with the art of pushing blog content to readers, it was time to drag more people directly to my blog.   I required readers on my blog in order to increase the odds of collecting valuable feedback about the writing content, and to build momentum for future advertising revenue opportunities.   To drag readers to my blog, I employed the strategies of pull marketing, with a ’social’ flare. Social-izing Pull Marketing Including the post link in a communication is intended to pull viewers directly to your content.   An interest sparking headline or lead-in prompts the reader to click to follow the content.   If the writing fulfills its promise, visitors might be motivated to read other posts and become a dedicated follower.   If there are ads on the site that entice, viewer clicks may earn income for blog ads that represent a revenue source. Pulling readers to your blog site provides the opportunity to create more loyal followers a...
Post a Comment
Read more