Colorblind – It’s all in the Details

My kids are “colorblind” – when it comes to people.  They are 8 and 5 years old and I have never heard a derogatory racial comment come out of their mouths.  I have not heard them refer to any person with a label, other than referring to someone as an adult, child, teenager, parent or teacher.  Perhaps we really are raising a generation of children who are better than we were.

My parents grew up in the 20s and 30s.  They raised four children to have open minds. We were taught to decide about people for ourselves, based on individual qualities – not generalizations sometimes used in society.  My parents would not tolerate bad behavior or language toward any person; whether from our Scottish/Irish/English background or otherwise.

 I do remember my Father describing some people as “colored”.  Not in a malicious or negative way but as a descriptor, that seemed acceptable when he was growing up.  When my Father would use that word, I would say, “What color Dad – purple with pink polka dots?”   He would get frustrated and quickly reply, “What word and I supposed to use now – I can’t remember.” 

I grew up in a tough suburb of Toronto.  We had a large melting pot of cultures, including a large Caribbean and European population.  The descriptor accepted at that time, for people of African descent, was “black”.  Today it is “African American” or “African Canadian”.  For my kids, born in the 21^st century, it is “he has brown skin and curly hair”.  Or it might be, “she has brown skin, blue eyes and sandy hair”.   In any case, those descriptors are amongst more important ones like “she is really kind and likes soccer” or “he is super funny and is great at math”.

Through my experiences I have heard many inappropriate monikers used to generalize people of certain cultures.  I didn’t use those words, but I didn’t try to stop others, outside of my family, from using them either.  Maybe that was a mistake.  Perhaps if I and others had taken a greater stand of intolerance when our ears and values were assaulted, we might be even further ahead.

Today, I live in an extremely multicultural environment.  My kids are Caucasian, along with 15-20% of kids in their classes – leaving 80-85% of their peers from other cultures, and I love it.  I want my kids to be sponges for knowledge and diversity, not ignorant of other cultures out of uneducated bias or generalisations from another time.  It might seem easier to spend time with similar cultures, but life isn’t about easy – it is about learning and growth.  When we stop learning, we are stagnant.

Since I have never been what we used to call a ‘visible minority’, I don’t have a relevant story to tell from my own experience, but I will share an analogy that makes my point.  I gained some weight after my last child.  My daughter came home from school one day and said “Mommy, are you fat?”   A child at school told her I was.  I broke it down with facts.  “Well, I eat more than my body uses in energy from doing physical activities.  When that happens – fat forms on a person’s body.  Now that I have explained it – what do you think?”  “I think you are beautiful”, she said, then “do you want to do more exercise with me to use more energy?”  Sweet – sort of.

Kids are NOT born hating or fearing people that are different than them or using hurtful monikers, that behavior is learned. I am so proud that my kids consider facts and make their own decisions about people, based on their individual experiences.  Remember the saying “don’t judge a book by its cover”?